The other day, I found out that someone I knew yonks ago during college told my man to be careful, because I "only go out with rich, famous men". I'm not sure what else, my man refused to divulge.
Once upon a time, there was... let's call him Ralph. To cut a long story short, Ralph tried to get into my pants, only to find out that I didn't fancy him. He wasn't bad-looking, and was pretty rich himself (or at least, his family was). But well, to me money's nice to have, but that's about it. If I don't fancy you, a big house, a nice car, and a bulging wallet is NOT going to change my mind. I can make my own paper, thank you.
I tried tactful evasion at first, subtly dodging when he tried to sit next to me, or put his arm around me. It wasn't easy, since we were part of a larger group of friends, and I didn't want to make things awkward... until I found out that he was also "getting along" with another female friend in the same group, and she wasn't very happy. At which point I just said, "Piss off, my dear." (He ended up dating her, and it ended on a bad note, he did something stupid. Amazingly. She is now in a happy relationship with another woman. He ended up marrying some girl he knocked up. Idiot.)
I wanted to cry when I was told about it. I love my man more than anything in the world, and to have him hear such nonsense... it just made me want to track Ralph down and scream at him to set the record straight. The only (but most important) silver lining in this whole thing, is that my man didn't believe it. I love him all the more for it.
This whole thing happened about 7-8 years ago, but the warning happened several months ago. I don't know if he's just sore about the whole thing, and making himself feel better by telling people I was a golddigger, or if he truly believes the crap he's been spouting.
I can see where the line of reasoning came from, I was still involved with my "rich and famous" ex of 3 years at the time. But that's like saying I'm a poet when I've only written one (bad) poem. Generalization at its worst.
Me? A golddigger? I've had a relatively ordinary track record, with my only "rich and famous" relationships totalling.... one. I date one guy who happened to be rich, and I'm a golddigger?
Geez, I'd hate to see what happens if I'd dated two.
This isn't the first incident of its kind to plague me.
I've had one guy boast about climbing into my bed after his girlfriend fell asleep during a college trip. Absolute bollocks. Thank god, none of my friends believed it. He was known to be a first class idiot anyway. His girlfriend also apparently did not believe it... or no one ever told her.
Another time, a close girlfriend's boyfriend hit on me. When I more or less told him where he could shove it, he panicked. I told my girlfriend after she confided her insecurities about him, and asked me to watch him for her. He then told her I seduced him. Lucky for me, she knew me better than that. Besides, she was in the next room at the time, sleeping off a wee bit too much alcohol, and despite her condition remembered hearing me say that we should stay with her, and her boyfriend insisting that we "let her learn her lesson" and that we should "go talk in the kitchen." That relationship didn't last. She and I remained friends. He apologized, but not after digging himself a deeper pit by telling me she was psychotically mad at me (she wasn't), and telling her I didn't want to talk to her (I did). My girlfriend and I later compared notes, and his whole straw castle burned in hell.
I've been lucky beyond belief to have people who have stood by me, and who love me enough to think for themselves rather than blindly believe vicious hearsay, but the whole situation makes me very sad and very angry at the same time.
The most I can do though, is to hug to myself the knowledge that I am none of these things. It's a small comfort, and one I'd gladly forgo for the chance to scream at them til their eardrums pop. It's something most people would expect from a woman... but except for one very misinformed, but understandably disgruntled female, I've yet to experience such slander from my fellow females.
Vicious, vicious men. Set aside your egos! If a woman doesn't fancy you, it doesn't make you less of a man. You don't have to come up with ludicrous "explanations" to make yourself feel better. Grow up, and accept it like a man (no pun intended). You'd be surprised how much respect you earn that way.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Goodbye, Rempits.
I live in an eccentric Muslim country. I'm not Muslim, just for the record.
One social problem our country has had for a long time is the Mat Rempit fad. Delinquents (I was about to add juvenile, but some of these buggers left their teen years behind light years ago) who congregate on their puny underbone motorcycles, do stupid stunts, harrass other vehicles on the road and generally be a pain in the ass.
To be fair, there are the idiots who throw things at your cars and try to do superman stunts, and there are the ones who just like hanging out in a group. Then you also have the ones who fall into the dark pit of petty crimes like robbery and harrassment.
For a while, there was a law banning more than a certain number of rempits from congregating on the roads. Gone were the days when you used to cringe at the sight of a mass of perhaps 100 bikes or more, weaving like drunks from left to right, and occasionally for kicks, deliberately in front of your car.
The roads were safe, then. Sort of.
This whole rempit thing was compounded by the fact that, if they were idiots, and weaved IN FRONT of your car, and you hit them, because THEY PUT THEMSELVES THERE, it's your fault. I've had it quoted to me in a police station. By a policeman. It's the law.
Not to mention, almost all the snatch thefts I've heard about in Malaysia involve one of those motorbikes. Who runs nowadays? You get the occasional car, but that's not very practical either.
So, back to the story. Malaysia's film industry began booming, and it was inevitable that someone would think, "Hey! If I make a film about rempits, I've got a guaranteed market there!"
Thus began the Rempit Movie Revolution. Roaring success.
Years pass, and the rempits writhe in ecstacy every time a new movie glorifying their culture on the silver screen pops up. This goes on until one day someone realizes the power of the media. Someone with the strings to get things done. (I have no idea who. This is what I imagine. Don't come for me, authorities.)
And the rempits are BANNED! Gasp. No more rempits in movies!
Bravo!
Unfortunately, it was a bit extreme, highlighting our tendency to smother a good steak in lousy sauce. Instead of carefully weeding out the negative elements of rempit-ism, we dug up the entire garden and banned EVERYTHING. Even movies that tell you NOT to be a rempit. Because there are rempits in them.
Despite the heavy-handed overkill, I'd initially applauded the move... until I found out that it applies to drag queens too, including men who dress up in women's clothing for a gag. And then they dropped a rotten cherry tomato on top by banning horror elements, on religious grounds.
Now I wonder. Does this apply to foreign films too, or just local films? If it's the latter, well, that's a double standard. If it's the former, I am going to be one seriously unhappy person who will probably give a lot of business to them movie pirates (not that I do now, cough. Of course not.)
(Another odd thing about our censorship board. We censor love scenes, including relatively innocent ones like clothes-on, hands-only-on-face kissing scenes, but we don't censor violence. 300 is an excellent example. I got to see every single bit of beautifully directed gore, chopped limbs and flying heads and all. Yet kissing scenes are mysteriously fast-fowarded.)
People in power, wake up! It's comforting and easier to label everything as either black or white, but the world often doesn't work that way. Sometimes the gray areas yield the best gems. Create a set of guidelines instead of banning the whole pie. Some of our best and most meaningful movies were created in these gray parts.
One social problem our country has had for a long time is the Mat Rempit fad. Delinquents (I was about to add juvenile, but some of these buggers left their teen years behind light years ago) who congregate on their puny underbone motorcycles, do stupid stunts, harrass other vehicles on the road and generally be a pain in the ass.
To be fair, there are the idiots who throw things at your cars and try to do superman stunts, and there are the ones who just like hanging out in a group. Then you also have the ones who fall into the dark pit of petty crimes like robbery and harrassment.
For a while, there was a law banning more than a certain number of rempits from congregating on the roads. Gone were the days when you used to cringe at the sight of a mass of perhaps 100 bikes or more, weaving like drunks from left to right, and occasionally for kicks, deliberately in front of your car.
The roads were safe, then. Sort of.
This whole rempit thing was compounded by the fact that, if they were idiots, and weaved IN FRONT of your car, and you hit them, because THEY PUT THEMSELVES THERE, it's your fault. I've had it quoted to me in a police station. By a policeman. It's the law.
Not to mention, almost all the snatch thefts I've heard about in Malaysia involve one of those motorbikes. Who runs nowadays? You get the occasional car, but that's not very practical either.
So, back to the story. Malaysia's film industry began booming, and it was inevitable that someone would think, "Hey! If I make a film about rempits, I've got a guaranteed market there!"
Thus began the Rempit Movie Revolution. Roaring success.
Years pass, and the rempits writhe in ecstacy every time a new movie glorifying their culture on the silver screen pops up. This goes on until one day someone realizes the power of the media. Someone with the strings to get things done. (I have no idea who. This is what I imagine. Don't come for me, authorities.)
And the rempits are BANNED! Gasp. No more rempits in movies!
Bravo!
Unfortunately, it was a bit extreme, highlighting our tendency to smother a good steak in lousy sauce. Instead of carefully weeding out the negative elements of rempit-ism, we dug up the entire garden and banned EVERYTHING. Even movies that tell you NOT to be a rempit. Because there are rempits in them.
Despite the heavy-handed overkill, I'd initially applauded the move... until I found out that it applies to drag queens too, including men who dress up in women's clothing for a gag. And then they dropped a rotten cherry tomato on top by banning horror elements, on religious grounds.
Now I wonder. Does this apply to foreign films too, or just local films? If it's the latter, well, that's a double standard. If it's the former, I am going to be one seriously unhappy person who will probably give a lot of business to them movie pirates (not that I do now, cough. Of course not.)
(Another odd thing about our censorship board. We censor love scenes, including relatively innocent ones like clothes-on, hands-only-on-face kissing scenes, but we don't censor violence. 300 is an excellent example. I got to see every single bit of beautifully directed gore, chopped limbs and flying heads and all. Yet kissing scenes are mysteriously fast-fowarded.)
People in power, wake up! It's comforting and easier to label everything as either black or white, but the world often doesn't work that way. Sometimes the gray areas yield the best gems. Create a set of guidelines instead of banning the whole pie. Some of our best and most meaningful movies were created in these gray parts.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
What is up with having a 'proper' job?
So, I still don't know what this thing is for, but since it's here, I might as well vent on it.
It's extremely frustrating when people assume you don't know what you're doing, because they don't see what you're doing, and your attempts to explain to them go zooming past their gray matter, because well, they've already decided that you don't know what you're doing.
I don't like 9-to-5 jobs. For several reasons. From what I see, there are generally two ways 9-to-5 jobs swing, at least here in Malaysia.
Option A: You're paid X amount, but worked 3X amount.
Option B: You're paid to work for X amount of hours, but you've finished your work in half the allocated time, and now you're stuck at the office surfing Facebook, or reading this blog, or refreshing Twitter.
I don't see the point in being overworked and underpaid, nor do I see the point in pretending to look productive so I can clock in the hours. I'd rather do my work, get paid properly, and go do better things with the rest of my time.
But see, the general mindset of the Chinese family is that anything other than a 9-to-5 job is not a proper job. Freelance schmeelance. Even retainer fees aren't legit. No EPF or SOCSO? Shame on you!
Now I admit, not everyone can do freelance. Some people enjoy the structured environment provided by a 9-to-5 job. If you've found the perfect balance between your pay and your hours, then well, by all means, enjoy.
The pros of going freelance:
The cons of going freelance:
If you're a good freelancer, you should be able to secure a retainer fee, which allows you to work freelance, but with a fixed monthly income, so you've got a measure of security.
... I realize now that I've gone completely off tangent. But it feels good to get at least part of it off my chest. It's been stuck there for a long while, like a stubborn gob of phlegm that you want to hawk and spit somewhere, but haven't been able to. Not everyone will appreciate it, but it feels bloody good to get it out.
Now I can sleep a little sounder.
It's extremely frustrating when people assume you don't know what you're doing, because they don't see what you're doing, and your attempts to explain to them go zooming past their gray matter, because well, they've already decided that you don't know what you're doing.
I don't like 9-to-5 jobs. For several reasons. From what I see, there are generally two ways 9-to-5 jobs swing, at least here in Malaysia.
Option A: You're paid X amount, but worked 3X amount.
Option B: You're paid to work for X amount of hours, but you've finished your work in half the allocated time, and now you're stuck at the office surfing Facebook, or reading this blog, or refreshing Twitter.
I don't see the point in being overworked and underpaid, nor do I see the point in pretending to look productive so I can clock in the hours. I'd rather do my work, get paid properly, and go do better things with the rest of my time.
But see, the general mindset of the Chinese family is that anything other than a 9-to-5 job is not a proper job. Freelance schmeelance. Even retainer fees aren't legit. No EPF or SOCSO? Shame on you!
Now I admit, not everyone can do freelance. Some people enjoy the structured environment provided by a 9-to-5 job. If you've found the perfect balance between your pay and your hours, then well, by all means, enjoy.
The pros of going freelance:
- You are your own boss
- You manage your own time
- You control your fees
- You decide what you want to work on
- You don't have to pretend to love your colleagues or listen to them croak during company karaoke sessions
The cons of going freelance:
- If there are no projects, you don't get no moolah darling.
- Networking helps. Not for the shy, unless you're some super-talented genius, whom everyone wants to hire. You pitch your own projects.
- No EPF or SOCSO, or medical benefits, or coffee, however bad.
- If you don't have no discipline, this ain't gonna work. No one's gonna breathe down your neck and scream, "YOUR DEADLINE IS IN 3 HOURS, YOU MORON!"
- Some people may look down their noses at you. Don't worry though, all you need is an economic crisis, and suddenly the word 'freelance' is desirable.
If you're a good freelancer, you should be able to secure a retainer fee, which allows you to work freelance, but with a fixed monthly income, so you've got a measure of security.
... I realize now that I've gone completely off tangent. But it feels good to get at least part of it off my chest. It's been stuck there for a long while, like a stubborn gob of phlegm that you want to hawk and spit somewhere, but haven't been able to. Not everyone will appreciate it, but it feels bloody good to get it out.
Now I can sleep a little sounder.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
GO CHINA!
What happened:
China recently, for their own reasons, fired on their own satellite in space, destroying it and creating debris that will last for 25 years or more.
And?
America is panicking.
Why?
Firstly, the obvious. If China can do that to its own satellite, it can do that to American satellites. Many American satellites are closer in orbit than the Chinese one that was destroyed (of course, the fact that some of these satellites are probably used for imagery for US intelligence probably adds to the paranoia).
Secondly, America is most likely setting the table (plates, cutlery, salt, pepper and all) to eat their own words. Before the Chinese, the only nations to perform outer space weapons testing are the States and the Soviet Union. They've long been averse to the global treaty to ban weaponization of outer space, unlike the Chinese and the Russians who want to keep the vacuum peaceful, so it's extremely ironic that they're all worked up about a little testing.
What, it's fine to have the potential to blow things up so long as it's just America?
China's motivations are unclear. Some defense analysts believe it's a way of saying "Mine's just as big, sucka" or simply what it is - testing out developed technology. Some believe it's a Cold War strategy - a not-so-subtle way of twisting America's arm towards the negotiation table for the aforementioned global anti-outer-space-weaponization treaty.
Think about it though, China has already established itself as an economic super-entity. If it were the former choices, China would have to be unbelievably ignorant if to not see the panic their actions would potentially cause, and this would probably go against the Chinese super money-making reflexes (well, there are ways to profit from war, but it's probably a lot harder if you're one of the contenders). The Chinese claim that they've been very cautious with defense technology development, being very careful so as not to trip the American alarm wires, which points towards the latter - careful usage of weapons technology in an effort to intimidate and (peacefully) drive the Americans towards the negotiation table.
I mean, see it from the Chinese point of view. They're an up and coming nation, and there exists a superpowerful, paranoid nation that wants the ability to use their guns without restrictions and has already declared war several times recently in an age where we should be worried about how to make moolah and love and where war for many of us is a theme for Hollywood.
In view of everything, if China's telling the truth, I personally think it's an awesome tactic. Subtle but efficient. (Well, they did litter outer space with debris that is estimated to last 25 years or more - the last test debris took 17 years to clear - but it's outer space. I mean, no one goes there.)
If they're not, we're doomed.
Ah well.
China recently, for their own reasons, fired on their own satellite in space, destroying it and creating debris that will last for 25 years or more.
And?
America is panicking.
Why?
Firstly, the obvious. If China can do that to its own satellite, it can do that to American satellites. Many American satellites are closer in orbit than the Chinese one that was destroyed (of course, the fact that some of these satellites are probably used for imagery for US intelligence probably adds to the paranoia).
Secondly, America is most likely setting the table (plates, cutlery, salt, pepper and all) to eat their own words. Before the Chinese, the only nations to perform outer space weapons testing are the States and the Soviet Union. They've long been averse to the global treaty to ban weaponization of outer space, unlike the Chinese and the Russians who want to keep the vacuum peaceful, so it's extremely ironic that they're all worked up about a little testing.
What, it's fine to have the potential to blow things up so long as it's just America?
China's motivations are unclear. Some defense analysts believe it's a way of saying "Mine's just as big, sucka" or simply what it is - testing out developed technology. Some believe it's a Cold War strategy - a not-so-subtle way of twisting America's arm towards the negotiation table for the aforementioned global anti-outer-space-weaponization treaty.
Think about it though, China has already established itself as an economic super-entity. If it were the former choices, China would have to be unbelievably ignorant if to not see the panic their actions would potentially cause, and this would probably go against the Chinese super money-making reflexes (well, there are ways to profit from war, but it's probably a lot harder if you're one of the contenders). The Chinese claim that they've been very cautious with defense technology development, being very careful so as not to trip the American alarm wires, which points towards the latter - careful usage of weapons technology in an effort to intimidate and (peacefully) drive the Americans towards the negotiation table.
I mean, see it from the Chinese point of view. They're an up and coming nation, and there exists a superpowerful, paranoid nation that wants the ability to use their guns without restrictions and has already declared war several times recently in an age where we should be worried about how to make moolah and love and where war for many of us is a theme for Hollywood.
In view of everything, if China's telling the truth, I personally think it's an awesome tactic. Subtle but efficient. (Well, they did litter outer space with debris that is estimated to last 25 years or more - the last test debris took 17 years to clear - but it's outer space. I mean, no one goes there.)
If they're not, we're doomed.
Ah well.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Why am I here?
I'm not quite sure.
Ignore the url name, it's misleading.
I'm not evil.
Well, I wish I was evil. Bitchiness has always fascinated me, perhaps because I'm... well, not. I play a MUD or Multi-User Dungeon, where I have an alternate life, and unlike real life, I have risen to the ranks of one of the leadership of my guild. In my guild, I am an awesome canine-humanoid Undead Warrior. In real life, I am a 5'2" 21-year-old human female who is alternately treated like a mother and a princess.
Not that I'm complaining.
Anyway, back to the topic of why I am here.
I still don't know, actually.
Maybe one day, I'll find inner peace and revelation and the answer to our global fuel shortage and become a zen multi-billionaire, then we can begin exploring why I am here, doing this bloggy thing.
Until then, I have a headache.
Ignore the url name, it's misleading.
I'm not evil.
Well, I wish I was evil. Bitchiness has always fascinated me, perhaps because I'm... well, not. I play a MUD or Multi-User Dungeon, where I have an alternate life, and unlike real life, I have risen to the ranks of one of the leadership of my guild. In my guild, I am an awesome canine-humanoid Undead Warrior. In real life, I am a 5'2" 21-year-old human female who is alternately treated like a mother and a princess.
Not that I'm complaining.
Anyway, back to the topic of why I am here.
I still don't know, actually.
Maybe one day, I'll find inner peace and revelation and the answer to our global fuel shortage and become a zen multi-billionaire, then we can begin exploring why I am here, doing this bloggy thing.
Until then, I have a headache.
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