The other day, I found out that someone I knew yonks ago during college told my man to be careful, because I "only go out with rich, famous men". I'm not sure what else, my man refused to divulge.
Once upon a time, there was... let's call him Ralph. To cut a long story short, Ralph tried to get into my pants, only to find out that I didn't fancy him. He wasn't bad-looking, and was pretty rich himself (or at least, his family was). But well, to me money's nice to have, but that's about it. If I don't fancy you, a big house, a nice car, and a bulging wallet is NOT going to change my mind. I can make my own paper, thank you.
I tried tactful evasion at first, subtly dodging when he tried to sit next to me, or put his arm around me. It wasn't easy, since we were part of a larger group of friends, and I didn't want to make things awkward... until I found out that he was also "getting along" with another female friend in the same group, and she wasn't very happy. At which point I just said, "Piss off, my dear." (He ended up dating her, and it ended on a bad note, he did something stupid. Amazingly. She is now in a happy relationship with another woman. He ended up marrying some girl he knocked up. Idiot.)
I wanted to cry when I was told about it. I love my man more than anything in the world, and to have him hear such nonsense... it just made me want to track Ralph down and scream at him to set the record straight. The only (but most important) silver lining in this whole thing, is that my man didn't believe it. I love him all the more for it.
This whole thing happened about 7-8 years ago, but the warning happened several months ago. I don't know if he's just sore about the whole thing, and making himself feel better by telling people I was a golddigger, or if he truly believes the crap he's been spouting.
I can see where the line of reasoning came from, I was still involved with my "rich and famous" ex of 3 years at the time. But that's like saying I'm a poet when I've only written one (bad) poem. Generalization at its worst.
Me? A golddigger? I've had a relatively ordinary track record, with my only "rich and famous" relationships totalling.... one. I date one guy who happened to be rich, and I'm a golddigger?
Geez, I'd hate to see what happens if I'd dated two.
This isn't the first incident of its kind to plague me.
I've had one guy boast about climbing into my bed after his girlfriend fell asleep during a college trip. Absolute bollocks. Thank god, none of my friends believed it. He was known to be a first class idiot anyway. His girlfriend also apparently did not believe it... or no one ever told her.
Another time, a close girlfriend's boyfriend hit on me. When I more or less told him where he could shove it, he panicked. I told my girlfriend after she confided her insecurities about him, and asked me to watch him for her. He then told her I seduced him. Lucky for me, she knew me better than that. Besides, she was in the next room at the time, sleeping off a wee bit too much alcohol, and despite her condition remembered hearing me say that we should stay with her, and her boyfriend insisting that we "let her learn her lesson" and that we should "go talk in the kitchen." That relationship didn't last. She and I remained friends. He apologized, but not after digging himself a deeper pit by telling me she was psychotically mad at me (she wasn't), and telling her I didn't want to talk to her (I did). My girlfriend and I later compared notes, and his whole straw castle burned in hell.
I've been lucky beyond belief to have people who have stood by me, and who love me enough to think for themselves rather than blindly believe vicious hearsay, but the whole situation makes me very sad and very angry at the same time.
The most I can do though, is to hug to myself the knowledge that I am none of these things. It's a small comfort, and one I'd gladly forgo for the chance to scream at them til their eardrums pop. It's something most people would expect from a woman... but except for one very misinformed, but understandably disgruntled female, I've yet to experience such slander from my fellow females.
Vicious, vicious men. Set aside your egos! If a woman doesn't fancy you, it doesn't make you less of a man. You don't have to come up with ludicrous "explanations" to make yourself feel better. Grow up, and accept it like a man (no pun intended). You'd be surprised how much respect you earn that way.
No comments:
Post a Comment